day 57 – completed

When I started working out with Christian, my PT for one year and a half, I was incredibly bad at squatting. I wish I could say I had a natural talent, that my body could instinctively perform the move effortlessly. But I could not. I spent the first three months of my training squatting in front of a wall, falling quite a few times and regretting the day I entered into that gym for the first time. After that, I was allowed to front squat with a flow bag in front of a mirror. That for about 2 months or something. When I was finally allowed into the weight room, he believed I could squat heavy. But we didn’t start heavy right away.

I remember considering squatting with 30(ish) kg a big achievement, when we reached 50kg I felt like a real lifter. And when I started Crossfit, in September 2017 everyone told me I was a good squatter. That my technique was really on point. So I believed them. By the time I moved to Lisbon, at the Bakery Crossfit the coach put me with the advanced girls every time there was back squat on the menu. I was okay with this, I liked it. I was able to lift 80kg by the beginning of the summer. It was great. I felt empowered, I felt strong.

After a bit of a mess while in Vancouver, I restarted Crossfit in late August/early September. I did not really focused on the back squat, until I joined a new box in Trento and the head coach, Raffa, told me I had an incredible technique. And he asked me to stay a little longer and check my RM. I did 85kg. And that is the day I chose to work for a 100kg back squat. That was the moment I started thinking about it.

But the weeks and months that followed were anything but easy and I lost the focus on CrossFit. I had a lot of pressure on myself, on my academic performances and the first thing to go was my “me time”. That until I went out with the guy who became my boyfriend. Since we are both passionate about fitness, we soon started talking about it and I expressed my desire to reach a 100kg back squat by the end of the year. As most of you already know, I did not get there by the 31st of December, nor by the 31st of January. But we kept working on it.

On the 29th of December, I could squat 90kg, but I failed a 93-rep. I knew it was a good starting point, heavier than any other woman in the box, but that wasn’t what I wanted. So I asked my boyfriend to help me out. Because the coaches make us work on many different skills, exercises and the goal is not as defined as in my case. So on Saturday, he trained me. Some days, he was averagely easy on me. Other days, he completely and utterly destroyed me. There have been weeks when on Sunday morning I could barely walk, yet he told me to squat through the pain. 

Almost 2 months later, on the 23rd of February, we decided to try the RM once again. On Monday I tried doing a 3-squats-series with 90kg twice and it went pretty well. Enough for me to start believing the 100kg back squat was close.

And last Saturday, it finally happened. I managed to squat 100kgs. It has been no easy journey. I failed many times. I was sore for days after, particularly intense training sessions. I almost quit many times, wondering why the hell did I want a 100kg back squat among all the goals I could have set for myself. And yet, the moment I did it, it was so worth it.

Officially, on the 23rd of February, I (back) squatted 100kg.

Have A Safe Journey!
Camilla

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