I wasn’t there to quit.

What happens when you try your PR and it does not go as you wanted it? It hurts. It hurts real bad. You are in the gym/box and you cannot start crying. You cannot scream. BUT it hurts.

That is what happened to me, a while ago. I had just reconfirmed my PR and wanted to increase by 3kg. And then much higher. I was feeling okay. My legs did not hurt. I was feeling fine. But then I did not make it. I had to drop the barbell. And my boyfriend catched it at the very last minute.

That was the moment I thought it was over.

I thought I would never lift heavier than that old PR. I would never make it. I had 5 minutes rest in before I had to try it again. That was the moment I thought it was over. Had I been alone, I would have just walked out of the box and probably started running until the pain would go away. But I wasn’t alone. I couldn’t simply walk away. I had to try again. I wasn’t there to quit.

I wasn’t there to quit.

I tried it again, and it worked. I lifted it. But I aimed for more. So I put on 2 more kg. I did it at the first attempt. And I was delighted, for the 5 minutes that followed, but then I wanted to try an even heavier barbell. I decided to increase my PR by 8kg, not just 5. So I put on the weights and tried it again. I could not lift it.

Everyone told me it was okay. That I had already lifted way more than what I expected. And I smiled when they told me so. I was happy. But deep inside I could not help but wonder: wasn’t I able to lift it because I wasn’t strong enough? Or was it because of other stuff? Was it because my back was blocked and sore from all the dishes I had to carry the night before? (I worked as a waiter during the holidays) Was I at my 90% and not at my best?

That doubt stayed within me for about a week. Then I tried another strength workout… And I performed way better than the expectations. So that led us to think that maybe my PR was a bit higher.

BUT still. I’m not here to quit. Yes, my PR might be higher. But I will stay calm and try it again when I am ready. I’m gonna stick with the plan. I’m gonna work my ass off until the day we decide to give it another shot. Until then, my PR remains the one I could lift. The rep I did not complete remains the proof that I need to work harder. That I am 7 kg away from my PR goal. And that I can have a huge margin for improvements after and even before reaching that goal.

Stay tuned to read what will happen next time we try it.
Have A Safe Journey!
Camilla

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