You Could Be So Good at This BUT…

Have you ever had this type of conversation? When they tell you that without much effort you’re among the top10 of the class, and with just a bit more time you could become one of the best – not in the world of course, but at least in that peculiar niche environment the conversation took place.

I had this conversation a few weeks ago with my CrossFit coach, who saw me after months of not showing up. After the usual what happened to you and where have you been questions, I did the WOD and, despite his advice to do max 12 minutes of the 18 minutes AMRAP, I managed to finish the AMRAP with one of the best results among the group. That is when he took me apart and told me: You could seriously be great at this sport – you have a natural talent for it, if only you’d train regularly.

I stood there, a bit shocked to hear that. I told you before that I have found my sport with CrossFit, but I never had anyone telling me I have a natural talent for it. I mean, I still remember the first time I walked into a box and – without any previous snatching experience – I managed, to everyone’s shock, to snatch 35kg first try. But one thing is to be lucky, another is to be told you have an actual potential for it.

He told me why I struggle so much to be a regular and I tried to come up with a good reason. But the truth was that I took on too much work last semester, from jiggling in 3 jobs to doing 2 extra exams during the semester, keeping up with the actual university work and even finding a valuable thesis topic. I have been stressed almost to the point of mental breakdown many times — way too many. I gave up a dream and found another one. I found myself displaced wherever I’d go. I no longer fit in my university town, let alone my hometown. I dreamed of Vancouver’s calm yet multicultural environment, I dream of Lisbon’s charm and chaos. I wanted to escape, I no longer fit in. And that influenced everything…

With so much on my mind, I struggled to be the girl who trains a couple of times a day every single day. I would consider it a victory if I managed to hit the gym twice (3 was a major victory) a week. It was not that I no longer enjoyed that, simply my mind was not set for it. I booked and canceled the reservation for so many classes I struggle to remember how many. I tried everything in my power to drag myself to the gym, but nothing could stick with me. YES, I still loved how CrossFit made me feel. I still wanted to have a 100kg back squat. I still wanted to snatch 50kg one day. But that was not enough to beat the blues. That was not enough to make me hit the box regularly.

But now I am back. I have a plan for my life and I know where I want to be in September. That positive admission result in my hand reminds me of why I fought so hard to get here. That insanely good topic for my thesis is another big satisfaction of mine. And all those exams I struggled with last semester, left me with just a few more things to do before graduation.

And I will (try) to be a regular.

Have A Safe Journey!
Camilla

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