Pressure

When I came home for the weekend, I knew I needed some actual rest time. I had been sleeping averagely 5 hours per night in the past 2 weeks, I had been respecting every possible deadline, I had been studying and working for the blog and training and preparing simulations and running and keeping the house running and too many things I honestly don’t even remember.

I was worried I could have gone crazy and failed at every and each of them. That was my constant thought, day and night (because you know, insomnia). I thought there wasn’t going to be a happy ending, this time I had had too much meat on fire, as we say in Italy. I couldn’t be that busy. I wanted a calmer life. So, on Friday, when I decided to take a full afternoon off, when I sat down on the Flixbus home, I fell asleep immediately.

Never have I left Trento with a deeper sorrow. I wanted to stay. There was something more I had to do. Some more assignments I needed to work on during the weekend. I needed to run more. (To rest more). To write two other position papers. To prepare for Wien. To do this and this.

By the time I reached the station and dad came to pick me up, I understood I like the busy life. I couldn’t lie in bed all day and do nothing, that isn’t me. I like to aim high, to be busy, to be the girl with the full agenda who has every minute scheduled. But, I also like to lay in bed, some mornings. So, I decided to take a full day off on Saturday, to then be back on Sunday ready to rise and shine (or kind of).

Because I have understood that for how busy and full I like my life, I also need to calm down every now and then. My father, in the car, joked about the fact I have always been like that, you don’t go to the station and wait for the train, you want to take the train that has already left, you run to it, once you catch it you are like “I can reach the previous one”, he metaphorically said. Learn to slow down. You can’t skip all the steps, but I get you want to skip some of them…

Now breath. Calm down. And be ready to kick the day!

 Busy.JPG

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