Dear 4-years-old me,
Welcome to this world. By this time, you are supposed to start understanding something is going on with you. You start to feel different, and you have every right to do so. You begin to understand your life cannot stop there, in the small town you are born into. You get a world map as a birthday present and you have no idea what this means, but every time you ask mum where do you live, whether she can point out the exact place you realize out there is way bigger than your town.
And so it begins. You start daydreaming about adventures, mum reads you books of faraway journeys and tells you stories about her travels. You wonder when you are going back to Paris, then they take you to Barcelona and Cannes and New York and the marvelous Guadeloupe.
The more they take you out of the comfort zone, the more difficult it becomes to re-enter in it. One day, I promise you, you are going to travel till the very edge of the world. You’ll walk out of the home door, the certain future you could have always chosen just to chase it: the bigger dream.
You could have chosen the easy way. The fam had a job ready for you, you could have kept the business running and everyone would have been proud of it. But you wouldn’t. Let me tell you it now, before anything has happened: some people are gonna hate your ambition. They are going to feel threatened because of them. They are going to say there is no such thing as dreaming so big to make life sad and awful. Don’t listen to them, they don’t deserve your time. Stop wasting time with people who don’t get it, whose vision is so little that they’re never gonna see the whole picture. Be arrogant, impose your goals and follow them, reach them, no matter what.
But please, do remain a kind soul. Some people, some true friends who loves you no matter what, deserve your respect, your care and your love. Be selfless sometimes, but never forget to put yourself on top of your priority list. Take care of your mind, your body and your soul.
Keep learning, keep swimming in unbathed waters, don’t be afraid to go in the opposite direction , to take the difficult road instead of the comfy one. Don’t always take the highway or the elevator, use country roads and appreciate the journey and the stairs to feel the effort. Be amazed by the simplest joy and celebrate every victory that matters for you, but also reflect and think about the battles you lost and the things that need to change.
If you are in doubt whether you should or shouldn’t do something, do it. You don’t want to have regrets, do you? And when in doubt, jump on a plane and leave. Stop waiting for the perfect occasion to come, buy tickets and leave for good, try even if there is one possibility out of one million.
Some bad days are ahead of you. I don’t want to spoil you everything, but remember my words: you are stronger than you think and braver than you believe, you are going to exit the dark and go back to life. Don’t worry about your body in these days, as soon as things get better, you’ll get back on track. Just one advice: don’t go for binge/throwing up, you’d rather go running.
Listen to your father. He might seem distant sometimes, but the only reason you don’t have standard-sized dreams is because of him. The reason you are always hungry to learn and experience is because he grew you up like this. Ask him for some advice, there is no such thing as his experience to guide through your early years.
Fall in love with the countless countries you are going to visit and don’t worry if people at home are going to complain about your endless travels. But please, return home every now and then, don’t always leave people behind.
Try to be there, when someone needs you. But keep the distance, when you need it. let your dreams be like the universe – expand at an unthinkable pace – and be yourself. Not everyone will accept it and some people will hate you for that, but have you ever seen an hater doing better than you are? But keep going, don’t cry over them, focus on the good vibes only.
Learn to value the journey to a goal much more than the goal itself, because you are going to change so many streets and roads, that you might even change the goal at the end. If something makes you feel bad, then change it. If it makes you feel amazing, then keep it with you wherever you go. You might never get the standard life, a house in the suburbs and a standard job, because you’ll always aim high. There is nothing wrong with it, just learn to accept it. Learn that if you want to become an entrepreneur or a politician or a GM, you need people who are employers. And you’re not better than them, you are simply a dreamer, an overreacher, an overachiever, an ambitious woman.
Last but not least, promise me you’ll never stop. No matter how bad you (or they make you) fall, you have to promise me you’ll get back on your feet and keep going, more focused and more determined to make it than before. Promise me that even if you need to set back for a while, it’s because you just need to adjust the strategy to chase it. And remember sometimes this means asking for support to some trusted people, alright?
Experience. Embrace life. Enjoy the world. Travel. Be eager to learn. Be hungry to try new things. Be yourself, always, even if you’d feel like an outsider in this world, don’t change just to be appreciated. True friends and love will find you and love you as you are.
A very confused 19-years-0ld you.